After the event that took place in my room, Justin and I realized what we've done, and guilt was eating us up. We could not talk to anyone about it until Papa called for me to see him a week later.
Papa had called an urgent meeting with me, and I was not sure why. On the day of the meeting, Papa asked me. "How is your spiritual growth?"
"Fine" I replied.
"Don't deceive me. I know what I am asking" Papa said in a strict tone.
"It has not been going fine" I confessed. "Praying and studying the scripture has become a very hard thing for me" I said, almost crying.
"Why is that?" He asked.
"I don't know." I said amidst tears.
"Is there anything you did recently that has filled your heart with so much guilt that you can't bear to go to God and converse with Him?"
At that point, I broke down in tears and explained everything to him, from the fantasies to the illicit affair. He looked at me and said, "Annabelle, I told you. You gave your heart out to him. Your heart was not guarded at all when it came to matters concerning him. Your heart was too free to think and fantasize about him. Out of the abundance of your heart, you have done something very bad. The bible said in proverbs 4:23, "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life."
" If you had filtered your thoughts and put a guard on your heart, you could have avoided all this. Your heart is the start point of anything you do or say that is why you should guard your heart at all times. Do not allow every thought or every emotion."
Papa spoke at length about guarding my heart and then I realized that my fantasies of Justin played a major role in my actions towards him. A heart without guard is free and a free heart is liable to sin.
© Hephzibah Purity
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