Navigating Christian Relationship I

Could This Be Love or Lust?

Love and Lust have a clear distinction but many teens today tend to use both interchangeably when it comes to the definition of what they feel towards the same gender or the opposite gender.

Love is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person while lust is a strong sexual desire.

“Lust is primarily about physical excitement and craving for someone else,” Lehmiller explains.

“So, if you get heart palpitations every time you see this other person, you feel a rush of excitement from even the slightest touch of your bodies, and you can’t stop sexually fantasizing about him/her, it’s probably lust,” he says.

By contrast, “if you find yourselves disclosing personal details to each other that you don’t normally share, you’re providing each other with emotional support, you’re integrating them into your life, and you’re thinking about your future together, it’s probably love.”

Many teens are motivated to get into a relationship because they are always sexually, and physically driven by the broad chest, baritone voice of the guy and shape, skin tone, behind or cleavage of a lady, and the uttermost aim of lust is to end in just a bedroom and not the later which is the matrimonial bedroom. But the characteristics of love are that it’s a somehow sexual, emotionally driven, romantic, emotional, mental, and spiritual connection, sometimes accompanied by sexual or physical connection.

How do you know if you’re acting based on love and not lust?

Have a moment of sober reflection and ask yourself straight questions to gain clarity such as;

  • ·         Is your emotions and action aligned with the God factor?
  • ·         What physical sensation do you feel when you gaze or think about that person?
  • ·         Do you fantasize about a future with the person or a sexual experience just to gratify yourself at      the moment?
  • ·         How would you describe your relationship with this person?
  • ·         Do you desire more private time than public or social time

Some relationships were founded on “LUST” while a few were on “LOVE”. Relationships founded on lust are tantamount to building on sinking sand but that founded on love are tantamount to building on solid rock. Nevertheless, both may not eventually lead to marriage but that founded on love has so much chance to end in Marriage.

By now, the difference between love versus lust would be clear to you. Now you can scan your relationship to know where you stand and what’s driving you and your partner

Please be sure to comment, share and follow by clicking on the following option. So, my name is Caleb, this is Jdsignate Blog, and I will catch you in the next one.


Every relationship is tasking. A relationship is a connection between two or more people, either positive or negative. The relationship isn’t for boys and girls but for mature people. A teenage boy in junior secondary school may develop a crush on a lady and take for instance he has a test the next day, if the “crush” requests for the note he’s having the test for the next day, he’ll blindly give her and bear the repercussion of his actions. For some unwise, he’ll fuel the crush he has, makes it mutual,l and progress it to a relationship. At that moment, all he can give is a prolly his time but he’s not emotionally, physically, spiritually and most importantly financially capable to handle a relationship.

Teens mostly ask this question especially when they get pressured by colleagues who are already engaged in an entanglement/relationship or "situationship". Age is not a yardstick to venture into a relationship, maturity is the yardstick for measuring the right time. Before you enter a relationship, these pointers are necessary to be reviewed.

  • ·         Physical readiness: Are you bodily and structurally ready to venture into one? Knowing fully well that a love relationship leading to marriage isn’t for babes/teens but for adult/mature ones. The yardstick for measuring physical readiness is physical and hormonal growth. 
  •          Spiritual readiness: Life is spiritual, fragile like an egg, and only by prayer can it be piloted, handled, and prosecuted accurately. Before you venture into a relationship, you must hone that act of prayer. Not just for yourself but for people because situations may arise above the usual I love you; you make all back look like braids, I love you more than my mother, I this and I that which will cause you to put on your priestly garment to wage war. If you’re not prayerful or if you’ve not learned the act of prayer. You’ll be prey.
  • ·         Emotional readiness: Relationship is for mature minds as I said. Before you venture Into one, make sure you’ve learned how to manage your emotions right and how to cope with someone else excesses if need be because the journey at every point won’t be a highway, at times it will have “emotional potholes” which you must hone how to manage it appropriately to avoid quarrels from been the order of the day.
  • ·         Financial readiness: Relationship is expensive. Before you venture into one, make sure you have a source of income. It may not be a high-paying job at the start but at least have something. Situations may arise during the relationship and one way of acting/displaying your love is to give cash/alert to solve the challenge.

A relationship isn’t ventured into for fun but for commitment, hence it’s important not to jump in and out from one to another. Hence, you must be physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially ready before you venture into one. 

Please be sure to comment, share and follow by clicking on the following option. My name is Caleb, this is Jdsignate Blog, and I will catch you in the next one.



 Should I “Marry My Friend” or “Marry God's, Will “

Recently, there has been a contention between people saying, “Marrying Your Friend” and “Marry God's will”. Your single period is a time not just to learn, unlearn and relearn but also to Master the voice of God to make your journey through life easy when it's a time to make a choice. God must influence every choice you make to make your journey easier.

As touching the transition from the marital status “Single” to “Married” life, many individuals go with the option of marrying their friend which is not out of place prolyl because of the duration of time which they've known each other and the degree of tolerance, good and bad sides which they've known and have seen that they can cope with. Some base their conviction on fully receiving a fresh person they may not have met before or may have come in contact with before the moment of choice. They believe as long as God (The Supreme Being) led them, they'll be all round compatible in physical, spiritual, and emotional life.

God's will concerning marriage can either be your friend or someone outside your friend circle but there must have been a meeting point. If God's will lies among your friends' circle, that's easier but work still has to be done if it lies outside your friends' circle, more work needs to do to know the person better and for things to run smoothly.

In summary, your spouse can be within or outside your friend's circle. And both options require your commitment, time, patience, resources, and most importantly prayer. Your friend can either or not be God's will for you as written in the volume of books. God for God's perfect will and not his permissive will. Scaling through life will be easier if you got your missing rib through his leading. Don't forget to share, follow and comment in the blog. So, my name is Caleb, this Jdsignate blogs, and I will catch you in the next one. 



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